Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

A: The pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven!

 

hahahaha ^^^ LOL

 

^^^ That's FCUKD UP

 

LOOOL!!! daaamn jess, i knew that one but i wasnt gonna go there?!?

Q: Why dont jewish guys go downtown on girls??

A: Because its too close to the gas chamber...

 

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."

The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".

The Mexican man of course agrees.

The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."

The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

 

yikes you guys, these jokes are even beginning to offend me and I am not jewish.

 

you're not?.....darnit puria get your facts straight!

 

Sorry about that one...a little over the top .

 

all good jess, dont sweat it!! we all know you are half jewish!!

 

ok this one is really bad

what do you call 2 old black men on a porch?

Antique farm equipment

 

Why doesn't mexico have a swim team?


Because everyone that can run, jump, or swim is already over here.

 

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza?


A pizza feeds a family of 4

Ok I'm done (don't take any of these personally Jesus or John or Clawd and anyone else I left out, they're just stupid dumbass jokes, feel free to tell cracker jokes).

 

But not my bottom half from the waist down...

 

No offense taken Byrnie. We all know, all I have to do is tell ONE ***** joke to squash everything!!!