For all of you who live or used to live in this area:

Rules of the Road in the Washington D.C. Metro Area

First, you must learn to call it by its rightful name. It is
D.C., or the District". Only tourists call it Washington.

Next, if your road map of Montgomery County is more than a few
weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. It's obsolete. If in Loudoun or
Fairfax County and your map is one day old, it's already obsolete.

There is no such thing as a dangerous high speed chase in D.C.
It's just another chase, usually on the BW Parkway.

All directions start with "The Beltway".which has no beginning
and no end, just one continuous loop that locals believe is somehow
clarified by an "inner" and "outer loop" designation. This makes no
sense to ANYONE outside the Beltway.

The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11 AM. The evening rush hour
is from 1 to 8 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning, especially
during the summer on Route 50 eastbound.

If there is a ball game at the Redskins stadium, there is no
point in driving anywhere near PG County. Tip: Never say PG County to
anyone from Mitchellville, Upper Marlboro or Fort Washington. They'll blow
a vessel in their neck and go into a seizure.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended
and shot at. If you run the red light, be sure to smile for the $100
"picture" you will receive courtesy of DMV. (However, if you don't go
as soon as the light turns green, you will get cussed out in 382
languages, none of them English.)

Rain causes an immediate 50 point drop of IQ in drivers. Snow
causes an immediate 100 point drop in IQ and a rush to the Giant for toilet
paper and milk.

Construction on I-270 is a way of life and a permanent source of
scorn and cynical entertainment. It's ironic that it's called an
"Interstate," but runs only from Bethesda to Frederick. (Unless you
consider Montgomery County another state, which some do). Opening in
the 60's, it has been torn up and under reconstruction ever since.>Also, it has a "Spur" section which is even more confusing.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're
in Takoma Park".

If someone actually has their turn signal on, they are by
definition, a tourist.

Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators. Heed the warning.

All old ladies in Buicks have the right of way in the area of Leisure
World.

Many roads mysteriously change their names as you cross
intersections. Don't ask why, no one knows. .

If asking directions in Arlington, Langley Park, Wheaton or
Adams Morgan, you must know how to speak Spanish. In Annandale, a
Cambodian or Vietnamese dialect will come in handy. If on Dupont Circle,
Capital Hill or U Street, a gay dialect helps. If you stop to ask
directions in Southeast... well just don't.

A taxi ride across town will cost you $12.50. A taxi ride two
blocks will cost you 16.75. (It's a zone thing, you wouldn't
understand)

Traveling south out of DC on Interstate 395/95 is the most
dangerous, scariest thing you will ever do. There is nothing more
frightening than seven lanes of traffic cruising along at 85 mph, BUMPER TO
BUMPER!!!

The minimum acceptable speed on the Beltway is 85. Anything less
is considered downright sissy. The Beltway is our daily version of a NASCAR
reality show. Strap up and collect points as you go.

The open lane for passing on all Maryland interstates is the far
right lane because no self-respecting Marylander would ever be caught
driving in the "slow" lane. Unofficially, both shoulders are fair game
also.

The far left lanes on all Maryland interstates are official
"chat" lanes reserved for drivers who wish to talk on their cell phones.
Note: All mini-vans have priority clearance to use the far left at whatever
speed the driver feels most comfortable multi-tasking in.

If it's 10 degrees, it's Orioles' opening day. If it's 110
degrees, it's the Skins opening day.

If the humidity is 90+ and the temperature is 90+, then it's
May, June, July, August and sometimes September.

If you go to a Skins football game, pay the $75.00 to park in
the stadium lot. It's cheaper then getting towed or a citation. By law,
you're not allowed to walk on the "public" roads around the stadium during
game days.

 

don't forget "If someone has their turn signal on, that doesn't actually mean they're turning in that direction" :P

 

Lek did you copy this from some one .Where do you get the time to put all this together .Hahahaahahahaaahhaah.

 

ya i smell a copy paste job Lek, we all know how lazy u are!!