Things I have learned in life
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From: MD
Things I have learned in life
These are the great truths of life:
After you buy your 2 year old a thousand dollars worth of toys, you will discover his favorite toy is your car keys, which he will hide in a place where they can never be found, until you discover them 22 years later when he graduates from college.
If you lose a socket in your socket set, it will be the one you needed to keep your car from getting towed.
Moments after you discover your inspection has expired, you will stop at a red light, with a cop directly across from you, who will get to stare intently at your windshield for three agonizing minutes. If you are white, he will turn out to be a black guy who is the chairman of the local Slavery Reparations Committee, or if you are black, he will turn out to be a secret member of the Ku Klux Klan.
If you have to unexpectedly leave town , and you ask your best friend to take your girlfriend to a show she has wanted to see that you have already bought tickets for, he will end up making mad monkey love to her on your sofa.
If you leave the bar and decide to pee in an alley, a cop car will turn the corner with spotlights and high beams on, just at the moment you whup it out, making it appear you are waving it at him.
If you find the perfect car at a junkyard, the same model year as your vintage whatever, with all the parts you desperately need to complete the restoration, they will be finishing up crushing it in the time it takes for you to return with the tools.
The shy, modest girl you met at church, the one you think is the one to take home to mom, will give you a case of the clap so bad you will beg the doctor to kill you.
If you scratch a CD, the scratch will always be on your favorite song, on an album where all the other songs suck.
These are the lessons of life I have learned. Feel free to add.
After you buy your 2 year old a thousand dollars worth of toys, you will discover his favorite toy is your car keys, which he will hide in a place where they can never be found, until you discover them 22 years later when he graduates from college.
If you lose a socket in your socket set, it will be the one you needed to keep your car from getting towed.
Moments after you discover your inspection has expired, you will stop at a red light, with a cop directly across from you, who will get to stare intently at your windshield for three agonizing minutes. If you are white, he will turn out to be a black guy who is the chairman of the local Slavery Reparations Committee, or if you are black, he will turn out to be a secret member of the Ku Klux Klan.
If you have to unexpectedly leave town , and you ask your best friend to take your girlfriend to a show she has wanted to see that you have already bought tickets for, he will end up making mad monkey love to her on your sofa.
If you leave the bar and decide to pee in an alley, a cop car will turn the corner with spotlights and high beams on, just at the moment you whup it out, making it appear you are waving it at him.
If you find the perfect car at a junkyard, the same model year as your vintage whatever, with all the parts you desperately need to complete the restoration, they will be finishing up crushing it in the time it takes for you to return with the tools.
The shy, modest girl you met at church, the one you think is the one to take home to mom, will give you a case of the clap so bad you will beg the doctor to kill you.
If you scratch a CD, the scratch will always be on your favorite song, on an album where all the other songs suck.
These are the lessons of life I have learned. Feel free to add.
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Joined: Feb 2005
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From: Vienna (DC Area)
lol if a lady happens to back up into you when she's in front of you at a stop sign near your high school. She will end up being your History teachers wife.
(happened to me in high school)
(happened to me in high school)
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