I wouldn't start a new thread if I didn't have to but I honestly feel like my case is very bizarre. I'll start from the top, hopefully someone can narrow my issues from that.
I got the car in November of last year and the guy told me the car sometimes wouldn't start in park and you had to put it in neutral, I thought no biggie that won't kill me and I can get a few hundred dollars off the car like that. I took it to the dealer to get it inspected because the car had a lot of codes and they deduced it was the center control assembly, I bought a used one off ebay because the dealership was going to charge me an arm and a leg to get it all done, and had my local mechanic install it. Unfortunately, it didn't work and sometimes I still had to put it in neutral to turn it on, but at least the manual mode was more responsive so it helped a little bit. That was a few months ago. Fast forward to a few days ago, I install a steering wheel cover that you sow on but in order to do it properly I had to take apart the steering wheel. Once everything was back the VDC and slip lights went on after turning them, which a user here helped me deduce it was most likely the Steering Angle Sensor. I was going to take the car into the mechanic to get that inspected but after a day of cruising with a friend a new issue popped up. The car didn't wanna turn on, not even in neutral. Luckily it was able to turn on one more time so I could get it home. Today was the day I was supposed to take it into the mechanic but it just did not wanna turn on anymore, I tried a few times and nothing, I tried moving the shifter around to see if it would do anything and then the lights on the dash went crazy I heard a bunch of clicking noises from the passenger side and then nothing. Now I can't get any of the electronics to work, the LCD screen on the dash won't turn on and the media screen won't turn on either whether it be on acc or on. Whenever I try turning it on I will hear a loud click and then nothing will happen and all the lights turn off. I tried putting it in neutral to walk it to my mechanic but the steering wheel is all locked up. Sorry for making this a whole essay but honestly I'm out of ideas on what to do, the battery is with my mechanic being recharged. I will put it back on to see if that helps with anything but I get the feeling it won't do anything. Any advice helps. I need to at least figure out how to unlock the steering wheel to get it to my mechanic in neutral.

 

Just about every symptom you describe is tied to the Body Control Module (BCM).

I have to ask the obvious: have you checked for water in/on/near the passenger side floor?

Unfortunately, only the BCM can unlock the steering wheel. There is no "quick fix" workaround.

 

Actually it turns out my hunch on the battery was correct. I was able to start it up again after installing the recharged battery. I do legitimately feel like this is just a temporary solution and it will happen again because this was way too odd for it to just be a drained battery. I'm inspecting to see if there's any parasitic drain anywhere since as I was taking the battery out I noticed the previous owner left some wiring unfinished for what I can only assume would be an amp and sub. So my options are BCM, steering lock since from what I see my issues were very similar with not turning on (fingers crossed it's not BCM or any of this), or something is draining the battery that I can't see yet. From what I gather the SAS is not tied to the steering lock issues right? The key light does stay on sometimes which is what led me to believe it was a steering lock issue at first.

 

SAS and ESCL (steering lock) are two entirely separate modules that have nothing to do with each other. ESCL is directly tied to the BCM. Though rare for 2008 models, there are countless instances where the ESCL fails which totally disables the car. It is a very costly repair.

My advice? With the engine running I would pull the STEER LOCK fuse and be done with that potential nightmare. Pulling the fuse, ***WITH THE ENGINE ON/RUNNING***, disables the ESCL. This prevents the steering wheel from locking which, in turn, maintains the "Immobilizer Chain." The fuse is located in the IPDM/er (big fuse box to left of battery).

From there you can start to address the other issues you mentioned.